Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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