I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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