plz talk dirty to me
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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