belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
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Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
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We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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