there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
