After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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