I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
COCAINE IS GR8
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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