12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize