you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
