talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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