we have pet lesbian snakes
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
