I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz