By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
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I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival