you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila