I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize