Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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