it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
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i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
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She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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