you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So squirting runs in the family.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
