the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
