While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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