And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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