Apparently you make a good broom.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize