i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?