Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
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just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
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Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.