We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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