how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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