Her vagina should come with caution tape.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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