yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize