i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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