forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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