Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize