He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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