New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize