I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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