the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize