Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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