She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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