So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
