Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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