We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize