how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize