You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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