Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize