well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize