all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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