last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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