My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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