your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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