I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize