Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize