one two three fourrrrnication!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize