Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize