just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
NoShamevember. You game?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Randomize
