God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize